Driving? Do reconsider...

AUDI:

* Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
* Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
* Automobile Under Demonic Influence
* Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
* Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
* Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
* All Unnecessary Devices Installed

BMW:

* Bought My Wife
* Brutal Money Waster
* Break My Windshield
* Barely Moving Wreck
* Big Money Waste
* Born Moderately Wealthy
* Breaks Most Wrenches
* Bring Many Wrenches
* Brings Me Women
* Broken Money Waster
* Broke My Wallet
* Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
* Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
* Bavarian Manure Wagon

CHEVROLET:

* Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
* Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
* Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
* Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
* Condition Hopeless, Entire Vehicle Relies On Leftover Engine Technology

FORD:

* Fix Or Repair Daily
* Fast Only Rolling Downhill
* Fabricated Of Refried Dung
* Fails On Rainy Days
* Fault Of R&D
* Finally Obsolete Racing Device
* First On Road to Dump
* First On Rust and Deterioration
* Fix Or Recycle Dilemma
* Flipped Over Roadside Disaster
* Forced On Reluctant Drivers
* Formed Of Rejected DNA
* Forward Only; Reverse Defective
* Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration
* Free Or Reduced Drastically
* Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed
* Funny Old Rattling Dump
* (backwards) Driver Returns On Foot
* Ford Owners Recommend Daewoo

HONDA:

* Had One, Never Did Again
* Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
* History Of No Dramatic Acceleration
* How Odd, No Darn Acceleration?

HYUNDAI:

* Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...

KIA:

* Killed In Action

MAZDA:

* Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

PORSCHE:

* Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything

SAAB:

* Send Another Automobile Back
* Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
* Sad Attempt At Beauty
* Sorry Auto, Always Broken
* Shape Appears Ass-Backwards

SUBARU:

* Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually

TOYOTA:

* The One You Ought To Avoid

VOLVO:

* Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW:
* Vintage Wreck
* Virtually Worthless

Enjoy :)